SORRY means FAST FORWARD – To Happiness, Success and Achievements.

Relationships between 02 parties – Individuals,  Groups, Societies and even Nations – thrive mainly on mutual respect,  honouring  commitment and holding hands while moving towards achievement of common goals. Any betrayal may lead to strained relationships and a road-blockage in the way of achieving these goals that would bring Happiness, Success and other Riches. In such an event, it needs courage and strength to accept the mistake and make an apology (by the party that made the mistake ).

Apologies are seen by most of us as a sign of a weak character.  And hence, usually, we don’t train our children ( and employees also) about how to apologize, despite it being a very important behavioural and communication aspect.  Apologies are, in fact, a very powerful social skill that can help one avoid the road-blocks created in the path of Individual, Social and even National success.  Saying SORRY is as important as saying THANK YOU.

A genuine apology offered and accepted is one of the most profound interactions of civilized people.

All of us have our own story about ourselves. It is our SELF-CONCEPT. It is our imagery, thoughts and feelings about who we are, how we would like to be, and how we would like to be perceived by others. When a persons’ SELF –CONCEPT gets injured or diminished by someone, the GOOD RELATIONNSHIP between them is offended and if corrective, timely and proper action is not taken by the party who has inflicted this injury, their relationship and resultant benefits go for a toss.  When handled with a Timely, Proper and Specific apology, it can heal humiliation and generate forgiveness and certainly, pave way to regain a very strong, successful and fruitful relationship between the concerned parties.

An apology needs a strong and understanding personality for one to make it. Weak persons cant’ apologize. A successful apology requires empathy, sense of security and the strength to admit ones’ fault, failure and weakness.  Actually, people are so busy winning that they forget to admit their mistakes and in turn, make heavy losses, in fact !

Yes, saying SORRY and accepting the same needs STRENGTH

Raghav, the only son of Srinivas Shastri, a very successful and rich businessman of Kochi in Kerala, was highly inclined towards music and art since his childhood. Srinivas Rao arranged for good music teachers, instruments and other support system so that the child enjoys his interest and also learns music while he grows up. After Raghav started going to college, Srinivas Rao wanted him to take interest in his family business but Raghav did not show any interest in it. He also had very different and liberal views on many generally-accepted social norms which was very different from what his parents and his society would expect from him. This all was very disturbing for Mr Sastri as Raghav was the only scion of this large family business. What will happen to this large business after him  if Raghav does not take care of it.     

1998, Raghav started working with a television content production company based at Mumbai. Still, there was no sign of his any interest in the family business.

In 2001, Raghav informed his parents about his decision to marry a model, television actress, his co-worker and friend Maira . A divorcee, Maira  had 2 daughters from her earlier marriage and was 7 years older to Raghav.  He wanted Raghav to marry a girl of their community and certainly not a divorcee and a mother of 2 children!   what will happen to his pride in his community?                                                                                                                                        Srinivas Rao immediately opposed this marriage and vowed to denounce Raghav from his family and business if he went ahead with his plan to marry this lady, Maira.

Raghav and Maira married and as a result, Srinivas Rao publicly broke all ties with him immediately. Feeling humiliated, Raghav also decided not to maintain any ties with his father anymore and left the home (for ever).

Time heals all wounds. As time went by, Both father and son wanted to come closer but their ego came in between and therefore, both avoided moving ahead and bridge the gap between them.                                                                          2012, Srinivas Rao was severely ill and he knew he will not survive long. He asked his people to search for Raghav and call him to meet one last time. With the help of his friends, accomplices and Social media,  they found Raghav in London.

On receiving the message that his father wanted to meet ( and talk to him ) for one last time, Raghav shed all inhibitions and immediately started for  Kochi.  They had not talked for ages and Raghav also wanted to say sorry to his father that he (from his side also) never tried to smoothen the ties again.  However, Just an hour  before Raghav reached home, Srinivas died waiting for his son to come. Raghav wept profusely with his head in his dead father’s feet but then…… they could not forgive each other while both were there.

It needs strength to accept ones’ mistake and say SORRY. Accepting apology from other person  is also a courageous act. Both of them lacked it. And when they had the courage, it was too late.

It is important to apologize properly, specific and timely.

One must be specific and show that he understands the nature of wrongdoing and the impact it had on the other person – “I know I spoke wrong of you in your absence and it has hurt you. I am really Sorry for this and will take care that it is not repeated. I request for your forgiveness”.  It is specific and assuring of non-repetition. Such an apology has a very good chance of acceptance and restoration of ties between the concerned parties, leading to happiness, success and material riches.

However, saying SORRY under pressure or just for the sake of it, will not get any good result. Rather, it has the risk of further deteriorating the relationships. Such an arrogant sorry ( that lacks the strength of accepting mistake ) is called the pseudoapology. The offender fails to admit or take responsibility for  the what he has done.   See an example – a politician making an apology ( under pressure from his party and opposition members ) in the parliament : I apologize for  the conduct that it was alleged that I did “. Here, even the acceptance of mistake is doubtful. Such an apology ( a pseudoapology ) can not improve any strained relationships.

Life is full of opportunities. Our relationships give us strength to avail these opportunities. Wasting the opportunities, just for the sake of unnecessarily inflated egos, wrong self-concepts and lack of abilities to honour commitments,  would be a big waste ( of such great opportunities ) . Let us go ahead, enjoy the riches of life that is on offer. Avail the opportunities, have the courage to accept mistakes and say SORRY, if there is any breach of commitment / agreed code of conduct.

Let us achieve Happiness, Success and Growth!

Wish you all the Best !